This was originally a picture of a 38-year-old. Through some easy digital play it became a fictional picture of a fictional 14-year-old. Someone, whoever, who never was.
She never was. I was never her. She’s a hologram of obsessions, fixations, shallower than shallow expectations.
She’s a response to hundreds of daily media attacks on my body image, confidence and self worth. She’s a pill against anxiety and social comparison blues. She’s fake. She’s a lie. But she’s who I am supposed to want to be:
Sweet and fresh! Young, mute and smiling: agreeable! No thinking or talking please people because posing is obviously more important. Posing for you, and for my story.
Posing from close up, close like a lover.
In real life I would never allow strangers this close. But in the digital world, in the decade of the selfie, welcome! Welcome anyone. Welcome too close to someone who never was, to think of her what you will, to scroll on and on, the endless untrue selfies that fill your feed and mine.