The New Normal: Afternoon and evening

15.10 Backseat passangers conversing with Google Assistant. Jokes, weather, birthdays, having hair; many aspects of life.

Perhaps getting our social lives going isn’t untimely.

15.30 Home.

16.00 Exasperating findings in backpacks. Must sharpen first grader’s pencils when blunt. Epic fail with light blue one, pictured above.

16.00 Set alarm for 55 minutes. Announce once it goes, children must put away console within five minutes.

16.55 Alarm goes. Children put console away. Why?

What’s going on here?

18.10 Husband arrives. Looks hot and bothered in suit and tie. Pity him so. Can spend my days in very small clothes. Or less, if not out and about much.

18.30 More Sister Wives. Husband serves dinner to kids because

18.40 Husband steals my last six euro and runs out the door in football clothes. ‘Stop that man in the knee-high socks!’ I want to shout.


19.00 Shower time. Can’t get children into shower.

19.10 Can’t get children out of shower.

19.13 Manage to switch off first shower.

19.15 Switch off second shower. Dry child with towel. Turns shower back on in jest.

19.30 Homework time. Change into dry clothes.

20.00 Elephant & Piggie: I’m a Frog in bed. Do bombastic elephant voice. Answered by adorable froggie voice. Fill with love.

20.10 Good night.

20.11-20.30 Omg! Epic fail!

20.30 Returning man in knee-high socks catches child in living room, takes to our bed.

20.35 Romantic couple’s time. Fall asleep with toy puppy in deserted bottom bunk.

Hurrah for Mondays!

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